YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5Nz8p3EP7A

QuickTime:
http://www.filmcow.com/charlietehunicron.html

YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrpCN014mS8

QuickTime:
http://www.filmcow.com/ponybrigade.html

Imma try to not sound like a terrible jerk but would it kill ya to post a blog update once in a while? i ain’t necessarily asking for a video (though that’d be nice) I’m just asking for a nice little reminder that you haven’t fallen off the face of the planet cause when you haven’t posted since early May and I kinda wanna know whats going on.

So let me explain.  I did in fact fall off the face of the planet.

My journey began during an exotic sailing expedition I took near the end of May.  Strong currents and unpredictable winds combined with a malfunction of my navigation equipment left me stranded in the middle of the Atlantic ocean, weeks away from any land mass.  As my food and water supply dwindled, I knew that I had a tough decision to make.  Either I die of dehydration in a few days when my water ran out, or I try my luck with the silver, half-translucent shard that I wore around my neck.  I chose the latter.

Let me explain.  You see, years ago I met a mystic in India who claimed to have killed a god, and from its body taken three triangular “shards” of reality.  Each shard, I was told, contained the power to distort and alter the very fabric of existence.

Naturally I didn’t believe a word of it.  That is, until the mystic led me to the body of the god that he had slain.  What I saw that day changed me.  The “body” was small, about the size of a small child, and showed no signs of decomposition.  It had no discernible face, and its limbs were long, lanky and jointed in very unhuman-like places.  But what truly terrified me about this dead “being” was the color.  A color that I had never seen before and, after leaving, could no longer even picture in my mind.  It was a shade and texture that simply does not exist.  An impossible color.

The mystic died a week or so later, killed senselessly by a lowly street thief.  When I heard of his death I broke into his house and selfishly took one of the three shards.  I do not know what became of the other two.

Which brings me back to my ship, and my horrible decision to use the shard.  As I gripped the smooth, silver triangle between my fingers, I felt a cold chill forming inside my being.  A chill that felt uncomfortably familiar… as if it were leaking into my past, infecting my memories.  I should have stopped – all of my instincts were telling me to put the shard down and accept my fate, to die at sea with honor.

I no longer remember the moment that I used the shard.  All I remember is the terrible sound that came afterwards.  A thick, almost physical sound that, like the color of the dead god, seemed impossible.  But within a few moments the sound became clear, and I was so overwhelmed by what I was hearing that I would have taken my own life just to escape it.

It was everything.  Every word ever spoken, every scream and every giggle.  The last breath of every murder victim, the first laugh of every baby.  It was the spectrum of human existence – every good, bad and mundane moment in the lives of all whom had ever walked the earth, being repeated to me for what seemed like an eternity.

Mercifully, the shard had also created an opening in space that I eventually fell through.  An opening to where, I do not remember.  All I know is that I had fallen off the very face of the planet, and away from that horrible sound.

I have vague memories of the weeks that followed, quick flashes of events that now seem completely alien to me.  Eventually I returned home, although I cannot remember how or when.

All that I have left of that trip is a feeling, a terrible feeling now permanently injected into the very core of my psyche.  A feeling that tells me the sound will be back, waiting for me on the other side of my inevitable death.  Only this time there will be no exit, no end.  Just me and the sound, that unbearable symphony of existence, for all of eternity.

ROFLCon was very interesting and also very weird.  One of the highlights for me was meeting Rob Cockerham of Cockeyed.com, a site I’ve been reading since the late 90s.  Rob was incredibly cool and it was very surreal to meet him in person after having followed his internet shenanigans since high school.  I briefly shook hands with Neil Cicierega of Lemon Demon (and countless other projects), who is almost certainly the most talented guy doing web content right now.  I also hung out with Dan Walsh of Garfield Minus Garfield fame, who was awesome and I highly recommend following his Tumblr.  I also had the incredible fortune of hanging out with Joel Veitch of Rathergood.com, who’s been making awesome internet stuff since before awesome internet stuff existed.  I also got to hang out with Ed Snow who does music for the Rathergood videos, and Ed Robinson and Matt Smith of the incredible Viral Factory, which has made so many great viral ads over the last decade.

There were dozens of other hilarious people I met at the conference (Charlie Schmidt is the King of the Internet) and there were some pretty interesting panels held, so it was a good time overall.  The video for the panels, including the one I was on, will hopefully be online in the next week or so.

Anyway, it’s very hot right now so work is progressing slowly for the next FilmCow short, but I am CHUGGING ALONG.  I’ll keep you updated.  In the meantime, check out this interview I did with OneMetal.com!

I’ll be tweeting and video-tweeting the entire time, which you’ll be able to keep up with here.  Chris Alex is also coming (Carl, Doctor Fabulous, etc) so if you’re at the event you’ll be able to meet BOTH OF US AT THE SAME TIME.  He’ll probably be doing some tweeting of his own as well.

I was hoping to have a new cartoon finished before I left but I ran out of time.  Rest assured though, there will be a new FilmCow release next week.

Anyway, I had a ton of “real life” stuff I needed to do over the last couple of weeks, but I’m back in production mode now so you should start seeing regular releases again.  OR A GHOST.  IF YOU SEE A GHOST DON’T TELL ME, GHOSTS ARE SCARY.

“A Depressed Whale”

QuickTime:
http://www.filmcow.com/adepressedwhale.html

YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_dEtaNx2Vc

I’m going to try to start having a more consistent release schedule from now on, even when I’m busy with larger projects.  Cartoons like this one only take me a couple of days to complete so I should be able to at least have something for you guys on a regular basis.

http://www.badideapictures.com/index.php?page=products/fracktaplots

It is glorious.

So here we are, seven months later, and Robert Benfer has made a feature-length sock puppet movie.  And it’s actually really good.

Super-low-budget movies are always hit or miss.  Often independent filmmakers will ignore the fact that they don’t have a professional lighting rig or trained actors and go on and film their movie as if they did.  The result is usually a boring, unwatchable mess.  I’m sorry, but your friend Ron isn’t a good enough actor to make us understand his inner torment through subtle glances and stares.  And no, those two work-lights you got at Home Depot are not going to make your basement scene “super creepy and awesome.”

Then there are the independent filmmakers who understand the limitations of their budget and use those limitations to make their movies better.  Robert has done this with “The Fracktaplots,” and to such a degree that I can honestly say the movie would probably be considerably less funny if he had somehow acquired a million dollars to film it with.

Take an early scene in the film where the main character, Mick, gets a call from his girlfriend.  His cell phone hovers up from below the screen, tied with rubber-bands to a large stick, and then stops near Mick’s head.  It’s so silly looking that you can’t help but laugh.  If Robert had a budget for this movie I guarantee you this shot would have been far less hilarious.

The entire movie is filled with similar visual gags.  In fact, “The Fracktaplots” is visually hilarious period.  Each and every sock puppet is funny to look at and funny to watch, and they stay funny for the entire length of the film.  Combine this with the fact that everything is actually well shot, and you have a movie that’s surprisingly entertaining just to watch.  Having read the script beforehand I knew that the dialogue was going to be great, but I really was surprised by how much the visuals added to the experience.  I expected the socks to essentially act as a blank slate to Robert’s writing, but they provide something new here, something that makes watching “The Fracktaplots” a completely unique and weird experience.

Beyond the insane sock puppet visuals is your standard “Robert Benfer Nonsense Story-line” driven by consistently funny dialogue and AMAZING VOICE ACTING (I do two voices in the movie.)  There really wasn’t a boring moment in the entire thing.  From start-to-finish I was entertained, and that’s far more than I can say about most movies I’ve seen lately.

“The Fracktaplots” comes out in March, and will be available for sale at:
http://www.badideapictures.com/

You can watch the trailer here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSG69jooQpM

And see a scene from the film (with me in it!) here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYeYh7bUd3M

http://roflcon.org/registration/

It’ll be a fun-filled and adventurous two days of internet people talking about the internet.

In THREEEEE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Yeah so if you’ve got $65 bucks to blow ($45 for students) be sure to stop by.  I will be wearing a purple dress and holding a red rose with a ribbon tied around the stem.  Meet me in front of the old ice cream parlor.