The continuing adventures from FilmCow’s exciting visit with Robert Benfer in Austin, Texas!
More behind the scenes from FilmCow’s exciting visit with Robert Benfer in Austin, TX!
Behind the scenes of FilmCow’s exciting visit with Robert Benfer in Austin, TX!
Hey everyone! Here’s a new cartoon for you to enjoy and cherish forever!
I love you. I hope today is wonderful!
yesterday someone at my school was wearing a shirt that said, “speak your truth.” but the truth isn’t as easy as all that. sometimes my truth is different from someone else’s truth. it isn’t an absolute. it should be, but it isn’t. if something is true, then that should be the end of it. but what I believe is different from what other people believe. like I think such-and-such is a good band. that is a truth to me. someone else thinks it’s horrible. that is their truth.
my truth is that I am a goddamn liar. and I have been lying to myself for months and months and making up my truth as I went along. and in between my lies, I’ve had long stretches of heart-breaking reality. I hate it. I hate my life and I hate myself. yeah, I’m a cat. so what. that’s old news. I’ll always be ostracized for being different. I hate that other people think they need to care about what I believe and what I do. I pretend like I’m ok with myself, but I’m not.
the whole topic of bullying has become a big deal lately. guess what, kids are never going to stop being bullies. you either fit in or you’re made fun of for not fitting in. it’s funny that some people think you get to have a choice. it’s funny that the bullies think the freaks choose to be freaks. we don’t. it’s just who we are. I could look just like them, and I’d still be a freak. why even bother. I might as well like how I look and speak my truth. at least I’ll be honest.
turns out the reason my mom went to live in that commune is because she’s sick. really sick. my dad didn’t know because she didn’t want me to know. so I guess she’s going to die for real this time. that’s why my step-dad couldn’t drive me. he was taking care of her. seeing her was hard. it feels like it was so long ago. hard to believe it’s only been a couple months.
I’m not ok with who I am or with this situation. I’m so angry. when I thought my mom was dead before, I lost friends because they didn’t want to deal with my sadness. or people pretended to be my friend because they felt bad for me. when I found out my mom was alive, but like me, things got weird because people were treating me strangely for entirely different reasons. I don’t know how I’m going to deal when she dies again. AGAIN. that sounds so messed up.
I thought seeing her would be good. it wasn’t. I feel even worse now. I lost something, found it, and now it’s being taken away again.
I guess that’s what life is all about, right? I wish I’d never found out she was alive in the first place. that was a truth I could have done without.
This month on “Hit It With a Car,” Christopher bravely slays the evil Kiddie Pool with his Cadillac Eldorado of Justice and Mystery.
This is the opening scene from the feature-length animated movie I attempted to make back in 2006. It’s one of the few scenes from the movie that I’m still really happy with, and I’m excited to finally share it with people!
In early 2006 I began work on a feature length animated movie called “Spatula Madness” about a spatula named Edward who worked at an accounting-firm-turned-militia.
I began this project largely because of the success of my friend Robert Benfer’s movie “Klay World: Off the Table.” I had recently lost both my job and everything I owned to Hurricane Katrina, so my options at that point were either “get a job at Best Buy ” or “move back into my mom’s house to work on something I could, hopefully, eventually sell.”
There were many things I didn’t know how to do when I started that project. I didn’t know how to draw backgrounds, I didn’t know how to animate anything that wasn’t stupidly simple, I didn’t know how to write songs, I didn’t know how to voice act, and I certainly didn’t know how to write a feature length project. As such, the “3 or 4 months” I thought I could get the movie done in quickly turned into “over a year, and I’m still only half-way done.”
During that time, something else happened – my web cartoons started to take off in a major way, thanks to the success of “Charlie the Unicorn.” I was suddenly making a living doing short films for the internet, and that began to take up the bulk of my time. Not only that, but most of the work I had completed for “Spatula Madness” now looked amateurish in comparison to my more recent projects. I went back and re-drew and animated things, but the more work I put in the more work I ended up making for myself. Eventually, I stopped working on the project entirely.
I’ve been telling myself, and the internet, for years that I’d eventually pick things back up and complete the movie, but I’ve never had the time necessary to properly get it done. So, recently I took an honest look at the project, and I’ve realized that it’s just not the kind of movie I want to make anymore. There’s a lot of good stuff in there, but about half of it makes me cringe. It’s stuff I wrote before I had written almost anything, and it shows.
Instead of simply tossing the project away, I’ve decided to go ahead and release the good stuff. I’ll occasionally be uploading scenes from the movie to YouTube / FilmCow (the ones that make sense as stand-alone pieces), and everything else will either be posted here on the blog or as extras on some future DVD.
My apologies to everyone who wanted to see this movie in full. It’s painful for me knowing that something I put so much of my life and brain into is never going to be completed, but the time for this movie has passed.
Thanks for reading, and for being a buddy. I hope you enjoy the various spatula things coming your way!
TO THE FUTURE.