the winding road goes on

post mother’s day. been feeling lost. school is almost over. I’m 16 now. going to get my learner’s permit soon. darleen was nervous about it. dad said it was a good idea, though. provide me with some independence. he’s been nice since I found mom. guess he felt guilty for hiding the truth from me for so long. he even helped a little, once he found out I’d been talking to people from the forums on the phone. he says he was worried for my safety. I haven’t been allowed to get online at home for the past two months. doesn’t mean I haven’t been getting on at school and the library and stuff. I guess I’ve been depressed and haven’t wanted to share myself with anyone. this past year has been so confusing. trying to figure out who I am, what’s wrong with me, why I feel so disconnected. dad started having me see the school therapist since I wasn’t talking at all to the one he was paying for. so now I get to spend my free period talking about myself, instead of doing school things. it’s ok. she lets me play guitar, and play games, and draw, and stuff. it’s all get-to-know-yourself crap. but it’s better than the other guy I was seeing. he’d just look at me with his fingers all intertwined and nod silently. super creepy.

it’s been really hard to write and share lately. I’ve been working on this entry for days. I’m going to see my mom once school is over. she isn’t as far away as I thought she was. one of the forumers helped me, that’s how dad found out about them. he overheard me on the phone. my stepdad is going to drive me there. maybe I’ll get to drive part of the way. dad doesn’t want me going alone. I sent my mom a card for mother’s day. her response was pretty weird. I think she must be really out of it or something. if I feel disconnected, she must be about ten times worse.

honestly, the place she’s at sounds like one of those off-the-grid, grow your own food, compost everything kind of places. except everyone there also identifies as something other than human. some of them have caretakers, like brian. he also helps take care of some of the other animal-people there. I don’t really know what that means. I’m a little freaked out by it.

I’ve met plenty of people who are ok with being an animal in a human body. I don’t know what it would be like to live as an animal while still being in a human body. I don’t even know how that works. do they wear clothes? how do they farm on four legs? how far do they take it? I haven’t gotten a lot of answers. it doesn’t help that, since I found her, I’ve barely been able to talk to anyone about it.

I’ve been writing a song about the whole thing. though really it’s just the lyrics so far, since I’m still not great with guitar. maybe I’ll post them once they’re all finished. probably not, though. I get laughed at enough as it is. and yet there were so many more people wearing cat ear hats this year than before. so I must be dong sometihng right, if people are still trying to be like me.

I think it’s pretty dumb they want to be like me. I don’t even want to be like me. they’re crazier than I am.



40 Responses to “ “the winding road goes on”

  1. Yuki says:

    Oh thank god. I was beginning to worry about you 🙂

  2. J says:

    I was wondering when we would hear from you again.

  3. This kitty amy thing is fake says:

    I hate this thing. It has a bunch of holes in it, it never keeps up, and the main character is way too self pitying. She is in no way entertaining and there are no such things as trans-species. Except the retarded people who think they are, and genetically engineered things from the government. How can you like this? If this really is true, she needs to put it in a diary or something. Not the internet. How did she get here anyways? This clearly isn’t a teen blog posting website. Either she works with/is Jason, or is a hacker.

    • Supertom says:

      Oh wait I thought this was all real :0

    • This kitty amy thing is fake says:

      I may be hatin a little bit, but trans species? That’s not real, and it’s almost like it’s testing God, which I hate blasphemy. I don’t agree with that, and like I said, too many plot holes.

      • cool for cats says:

        Oh thats right bring your imaginary friend into this things better not insult my beliefs or ill throw a hissy fit have you even read the bible dick head

        • This kitty amy thing is fake says:

          Dude, respect religion. I don’t care what you believe in, and I won’t make fun of it. People state their OPINIONS here. MY OPINION. Not a fact. So yeah, be a jerk. Why not? Imaginary? I believe in God. I don’t care what you think. If, you insult my religion, ok, I can’t change you. But at least don’t be an a-hole.

          • This kitty amy thing is fake says:

            The anonymous person was nice in his judgement of my opinion at least.

          • cool for cats says:

            look if you say you hate something becuase it goes against god (tran-species) then you hate something because it goes against your beliefs or opinions so I dislike that you are judging something based on taking offence on behalf of a superbieng who can probably take care of himself if he exists because it goes against my opinions or beliefs that one if he does exist and is omnipresent then he doesnt need defending and two he most likely doesnt exist in the first place we are all entitled to are own opinions as you say and i am voicing mine

          • Supertom says:

            Cool for cats. That was one long sentence.

            I think it might have been clearer if you had put it it more than one sentence, I think I have that problem sometimes too.

          • This kitty amy thing is fake says:

            Uh, ok cool for cats. I honestly didn’t understand some of those words, but ok. But, I’m just a minor, so….

          • Some Random Dude says:

            Proof that religion only causes conflict right here xD

            And religious nutjob, I mean religious zealot, I mean religious kid, stop spouting crap you hear from your parents and “spiritual leaders” (i assume you heard that somewhere else) and formulate your own opinions.

            And if the you discriminate because some “magical book” told you to, that book is wrong.

          • This kitty amy thing is fake says:

            Okay, I don’t hate atheists, but what is the deal? This site isn’t just for atheists, and it’s a bit funny that most people commenting are I guess, but wow. Still, these videos, while not atheist so say, are still inappropriate. But, I guess that’s what makes them funny.

          • Some Random Dude says:

            I never said I was atheist. For all you know I could worship the Norse gods. However, some people have figured out how to adapt the Bible (or whatever) to modern times. Some people have not. You are clearly not one of those people.

            Discriminating based on some ancient text would be considered lunacy by most. Your “God” claims you should treat everyone equally. Well start doing it

          • This kitty amy thing is fake says:

            He also says no one is perfect. Dont say Miley Cyrus said that. And he said to love one another and treat each other with respect, right. But, you dont entirely seem to be showing me respect. Weather you believe in God or not, the golden rule is treat others the way you want to be treated. So run and tell that. Hopefully you’ll get that reference and not think I’m trying to be a jerk with that.

          • cool for cats says:

            well i think you may of hit my point actualy that you saying that transpiecies is an insult to god like you are the arbitor of what god thinks is thinly disguising your distain for transpiecies so your judging someone on behalf of god though it sais judge not less ye be judged and to treat others as you would be treated so how would you like to be called an abomination or blasphomous in your exsistence or your beliefs you seem to be a bit of a hipocrite

          • This kitty amy thing is fake says:

            I will go ahead and say I am a huge hypocrit, like really big, but I just overreact with things like this, and I want it to stop because I want the filmcow videos and movies. Not kittyamy.

      • You know what, I don’t think you are real, I think you are fake. If Jesus was real I think he’d feel the same way.

        • Some Random Dude says:

          And how do the Egyptian gods feel? They’ve felt that way a lot longer than Jesus has. I bet you think they’re fake, don’t you? And the Greek gods? Romans? Norse?

          Yeah, that’s what I thought.

  4. Supertom says:

    New video featuring kittyamy’s song?

  5. TypeQueen says:

    This made my day!

  6. Will says:

    KittyAmy, thank god.
    I was beginning to think the worst had happened! I may not know you at all, and I may just be some random person on the internet, but I will never judge you for who you are inside. I will only give you lots of pets.
    Who’s a good kittyamy?
    Wanna play with the string?
    🙂

  7. That Guy That Said That One Thing, Remember? says:

    Oh man, I was getting worried there Kitty. I always look forward to your wonderful blog posts. They are, no disrespect intended, like catnip to me. I just can’t stay away. My (continuing my simile as a metaphor) cat mind cannot comprehend the allure of the nip. It sees it and wonders what it is. Is it a drug? Does it just smell really good? Why am I bothering with these thoughts? I guess what I’m trying to say is that I have profound respect for you, Kitty, and am intrigued by your blog posts which make me content in a way best enjoyed thoughtlessly. Despite these personal feelings, though, I wish swift resolution to your affairs. Good luck!

  8. Confused says:

    since this blog thing began, it has been approximately 8 months; thus 244 days, 5856 hours, 351360 minutes, and +21081600 seconds. the first 10% of that time (approximately the first 24.4 days) was interesting and certainly innovated- it was mind boggling and all that good stuff. but now, when will this endddddddddd. i keep forgetting this girl exists cause it goes on and on and on street lights! people! ohhhhh ohhh oh don’t stop… wait sorry, i’m really tired. ok so…wait where was I? idk im bored now

  9. Kevolution says:

    Oh Jason, sweet, tender, Jason, in the glorious name of Satan may you PLEASE tell us what is going on here?

  10. just me says:

    confusion is funny. you are all very, very funny.

  11. ThatOneChick says:

    … Really. It’s back. -sigh- And here I had hoped it was over. Oh, well. Usually, a spew- the most accurate term for a group of these I can think of- of these journal posts precedes a new video, so I’m okay with that.
    Also, try eating mice. I hear they’re tasty barbecued.

  12. indianasmith says:

    NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  13. Bastet says:

    As I am your goddess, I command you to give all of yourself to that skein for the rest of your mortal time.

  14. Rubin Petterson says:

    Get over it honey. That is her legal name and unless she wants to change it she does not have to do it. If she is committing fraud that is another matter but his name is her name for as long as she wants to keep it and there is nothing you can do about it.