through the looking-glass

I’ve been spending most of my online time over at the trans-species forums. it’s just nice to be with people that understand me. my lgbt friends have been helpful, but they are all wrapped up in their own kinds of problems. ones that I don’t really get either.
I keep dreaming about my mom. I’m really angry at her, that she lied to me, that my dad let her lie to me. my dad’s tried to be nice, but it’s just hard for me to look at him. he’s been making me see a counselor or something (therapist? psychologist? I dunno) but I don’t really want to be there. I want to not be mad at my mom. sometimes I almost wish she really was dead because I think it would hurt less than knowing she just left me behind.

the people I’ve made friends with on the t-s forum have been really helpful. they’ve given me some leads on where mom might be, but there’s only so much I can do as a 15 yr old. some of them have even checked out info for me, but so far nothing’s turned up. how many places could she possibly be? my stepdad called 2 weeks ago but my dad didn’t let me talk to him. didn’t want me to get upset. it just upset me more. I didn’t talk to dad for a week after that.

I started taking guitar lessons, to take my mind of things. darleen got me a hat with cat ears. I love wearing it. dad got mad at her because he thinks she’s encouraging me. funny how the tables have turned. darleen used to be the one that tried to crush my creativity. now it’s my dad. ironic, right?

I don’t know what I want anymore. sometimes I wonder what normal feels like. sometimes I wonder if there is such a thing.

I have to go pretend to do homework now. pretend to care about this stupid world and this stupid life. eventually things will make sense again. they have to.



52 Responses to “ “through the looking-glass”

  1. MuffinMan says:

    All right, nobody else respond to this post. You’re just encouraging whoever it is putting these things on the site.

  2. TypeQueen says:

    YAY!!!! You are back! MEOW!!!!

  3. indianasmith says:

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Mingo says:

    Where am I, this isn’t Filmcow; Filmcow is funny.

    It must be .net silly me.

  5. MACandCHEEZWIZ1 says:

    YES YES YES.

    I enjoy reading these. We don’t need constant humor. These are good breaks that fill the gap between video releases.

    Although trans-species doesn’t seem to imply what I thought it did. After Googling, it says that it’s transplanting animal parts (like a pig’s heart) to people who need them. I thought this was about people who want to be animals. I almost imagine furries.

    Also, I never understood what the attraction is for cat ears. I enjoy anime from time to time, and the cat ear thing seems like it’s pandering to moe fans, but is it some kind of fetish? It just seems so out of place for it to be attractive.

    • DarkLordAngolmois says:

      O it IS attractive my good sir. Very attractive indeed. So attractive indeed that one may find themselves…touching…themselves…

      Sad that kitty is only 15yr…
      Trolololololololololol

  6. Carbonated Chocolate Cake says:

    GASP! She’s back!

  7. Yuki says:

    Aww man, I just went to get some chocolate milk and when I came back up, I saw this blog post, then realised I left the chocolate milk downstairs. Then when I went to get it I tripped over my foot and broke my leg. Then I had to crawl back upstairs and dial 999. Now an ambulance is on its way here, and I’m bored out my skull waiting for it. Bet my chocolate milk’s cold now, too. Man, it’s just one of those days…

  8. Carl Sagan says:

    There our actually many places your mother could be. Just pray it isn’t China Town.

  9. Alex Mason says:

    I am with Muffinman. Everyone who is commenting that they don’t like Kitty Amy should just stop commenting and just ingnore it.

    • ThatOneChick says:

      Says the man who commented.

      • Kevolution says:

        Aha. true, true.

      • LOLephant In The Room says:

        Alex is not commenting about disliking KittyAmy. Plus, maybe this person likes KittyAmy, then it doesn’t apply to him/her. You’re comment has been negated, good day.

        • ThatOneChick says:

          If he liked Amy, he wouldn’t want her to go away, as evidenced by urging people to stop encouraging her. Such statements intrinsically imply dislike, if he wants her to leave. Your negation has been overruled, good day. :3

          • Kevolution says:

            *mind blown*

          • LOLephant In The Room says:

            Such implications are purely circumstantial, and rely solely on a comment saying those who DON’T LIKE Amy should stop encouraging her,and not everyone altogether. This brings me back to my original point, we know not whether Alex likes Amy, and in this case especially not from what that person may be ‘implying’. I’m afraid that your overruling of my negation on the reply of the prior comment has also been negated. Good… day.

          • ThatOneChick says:

            However, my original comment had nothing to do with his feelings towards Amy, but rather the inherent absurdity and hypocrisy in a comment telling people not to comment. Your entire argument has been negated. Good day. 🙂
            (Why, yes, I AM something of an argumentative bitch, thank you for asking. :D)

          • Topher says:

            Obviously Jason Steele had the riddiculous idea to create the persona of a crazy 15 year old girl to post on his own blog and pretend it’s not happening. This is all adding to the comedy. It’s like an Alternate Reality Game

  10. From the Darkness says:

    Why aren’t you dead?!

  11. Kevolutin says:

    Am i the only one that wants to find these people that actually BELIEVE they are animals in a human’s body and hit them hard? in the face? and give them a stern talk? i mean really… an animal in a human’s body, yet somehow you have human instincts, thoughts, urges, and what not… seriously… WHAT???

    • LOLephant In The Room says:

      Humans don’t have instincts, that is a myth. You are refering to things that require past knowledge. Humans are not born with knowledge (or instincts for that matter)

      • Labern says:

        Humans have instincts! But freewill is an illusion of our brains … think about that…
        Ring Ring…Hello
        Ring Ring…Hello

      • ThatOneChick says:

        No, no no… Humans do have instincts. Science has proven it. Otherwise, babies wouldn’t do anything at all, ever. I agree we have no base KNOWLEDGE at birth, but instincts and knowledge are seperate.

  12. Kevolution says:

    TYPEQUEEN. IF YOU READ THIS, I WOULD BE VERRRYYY PLEASED IF YOU RESPONDED. MAY YOU PLEAES GIVE US A HINT AT WHAT IS WITH THIS WHOLE KITTYAMY96 THING? WHO IS SHE? IS SHE EVEN REAL? WHY IS SHE POSTING ON FILMCOW BLOG? IF YOU WANT TO, BE CREATIVE. GIVE US A RIDDLE, EVEN. JUST SOME KIND OF SOMETHING WOULD BE QUITE NICE.

  13. That Guy That Said That One Thing, Remember? says:

    What a startling turn of events! I had all but forgotten the existence of KittyAmy when, suddenly, this post was posted! Truly, I had reconciled ideas of her having resolved the conundrums of her life and I fostered a hope she only gave up on her Internet escapades because of this resolution, leaving her without need of Filmcow’s faculties. Now, reading this, my previous uncertainty about the state of Kitty’s personal affairs has returned and with the mighty vengeance of a forgotten deity looking to accrue followers through impressive acts of violence. Perhaps it was folly of me to forget Amy. She is in dire need of help, emotionally or mentally or some bastard child of the two. I know now, I will not abandon my sentiments towards her again. KittyAmy, you have my faith and support in these troubled times of yours. If there is anything I or the community of Filmcow can do for you, please, notify either of us.

  14. BOB SAGET IS THE SHIZ says:

    AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT HAS A HUMONGOUS BONER RIGHT NOW

  15. can you grab my pants? they're in your bed lol jk not really, i'm not cereal says:

    my mom doesn’t like this and she might sue film cow, crap!

  16. Robert says:

    Jason is actually just copying and pasting this girl’s blog from a different site and putting it on here. do your research peoples. i found her old blog that had identical posts to some of the originals that were posted here.

    • ThatOneChick says:

      Yes, because seeing an odd blog on an odd website would immediately inspire people to scour the internet frantically, looking for similar blogs.

    • Tucker says:

      Did some searches, couldn’t find anything. Link or it didn’t happen.

    • Duke_Icoris says:

      Agreeing with Tucker. Link, please. Google isn’t coming up with anything, nor are the other search engines (butt still, almighty GOOGLE).

  17. KittyAmyStalker says:

    Hi Kitty What do you think your doing posting all this rubbish your dad won’t be very proud of you when I tell him

  18. Bri'ana says:

    omg that is so cute what chirs brown did i lunghgt my butt off man nice boy