no such thing as getting over it

I’ve been sick for the past couple days. spent thanksgiving in bed. it was probably for the best. mom’s favorite holiday was thanksgiving. she used to let me help make the meal. it was fun, until I hit puberty and started being a jerk. I regret the times we fought. I was always so angry. I still am. I just don’t have anyone to take it out on now.

sometimes I imagine how I would act if darleen died. or my dad. what would I do differently? I’m not sure. sometimes the only thing that keeps me from screaming in darleen’s face is the thought of how bad I would feel if she died tomorrow. so despite the things I’ve said about her, I still try not to be a bitch to her. because I don’t know how much time I have left with her. just like I don’t know how much time I have left with my dad. and I didn’t know how little time I’d have with my mom.

I’m not ready yet to let go of the things I did with my mom, like making tg dinner. or xmas cookies. being sick was kind of a relief. I just stayed in bed and watched stupid movies. tried not to think too much about things. so of course I did the opposite.

I know it’s dumb to have regrets, but I can’t help it. sometimes they’re the only thing that make me still feel connected to my mom.



63 Responses to “ “no such thing as getting over it”

  1. Sivad says:

    In other news, some coyotes have been yelping at our fences. About a month ago, a coyote killed one of our baby goats. I loved that goat. I raised it when it was born. Well now the coyotes are back. I patrolled our fences with my Glock, and didn’t see anything. I hope all of our goats and dogs make it through the night.

  2. Kitty, this was impressive. Wise words from a wanderlusty teenager. It reminds me of my own youth! Months spent digging trenches; weeks spent sweeping mines; days spent in no man’s land as the result of drunken fiascos; hours spent trying not to die. Life wasn’t easy back in the day. I remember when we launched the first nuclear submarine I cried. It’s okay for a grown man to cry as long as it has to do with nuclear weaponry, y’know. If I had my way, I would cry every day as the advent of some new devastating force was introduced. I would be a majestic waterfall, they’d call me Colonel Niagara!

  3. warz says:

    These things were funny, but they are getting boring.

  4. Mingo says:

    First of all; FIRST!!!

  5. JustSomeRandomlyGeneratedGuy says:

    So yeah.. maybe Jason is buying himself some time to make movies/fend off the cartoon maffia.

  6. Multifish says:

    Okay, so I think I worked this out. This is basically a little test you’re running between ideas, isn’t it? A sort of experiment in which you observe the fluctuation of page views since the change from actual content to faff.

    It’s like you want to see how many of your fans hang around during all of this. I mean, I’m only really checking this “blog” once a week now, instead of my original thrice (it was part of my webcomic catch-up (Haven’t done that as often either, really…)). So I’d guess that you’re killing your own website, and in doing so, observing how a website can die through lack of well put content.

    Well, bravo, Jason Steele!

    • Viveckiller says:

      Or maybe he’s waiting for some one to say EXACTLY the right thing so he can launch his new video with that comment as the main focus of the video. In my opinion that would be interesting but really the chances of that happening are near nil depending on the comment he wants.

    • Joe says:

      I’ve started checking more because these blogs come more often than the videos.

  7. Ryan says:

    no one cares

  8. Robert says:

    I love you! I do not know if you are real or not………. But I love you!

    • OneWithTheShades says:

      Mhmm. You know that, if she is real, she is probably only 14-15? CREEPER BE CREEPIN’.

      • Robert says:

        and what if the author of the comment is in that age group? anyways i done want to meet her that would be far too risky for both parties.

  9. The Overlord says:

    You know this whole thing started out as a mere annoyance, I just wanted it to finish and more videos to come out. But I’m actually beginning to enjoy these posts. I don’t know why or what it is but it’s just something about reading them… I say keep them coming.

    But still. More videos would be appreciated 🙂

  10. Corey says:

    I definitely miss the videos Mr. Steele once posted, but let’s look at it this way…he really wasn’t posting that many before this, so this is kind of better than nothing. I’m getting addicted to this in a way. I actually find myself checking this page more now than I have in the past…Jason, you are currently WINNING and you know it.

  11. The Last Unicorn says:

    Goodbye, my FilmCow
    No more quality videos
    No more talk about ocelots and fish
    No more references to Spatula Madness
    It’s been fun, but I’ve gotta run
    So goodbye

    -A Jason Steele/Logan Whitehurst Collaboration

  12. Julian says:

    Hey kitty, wanna go out?
    JUST KIDDNG! Get off this website or off YOURSELF.

  13. Viveckiller says:

    I kinda enjoy these little posts but honestly I want some good videos. hell maybe even a movie! Whatever you’re doing Jason make sure it’s awesome.

  14. Some guy says:

    And so ends the great FilmCow. It was great as it lasted huh fellas?

    • The other one says:

      The knife’s in the top drawer.

    • Name (required) says:

      True fans know Jason just reads these comments and laughs. True fans know that Jason rarely releases stuff, doesn’t tell them what he’s doing, and plays tricks on them, but they don’t care! Jason is still hilarious, and that’s all true fans care about.

      Love, a true fan!

  15. Jordan says:

    I’d laugh if this was all leading up to a 30-second video… probably won’t though :L

  16. Corneth says:

    Hey, Jason, this was funny for a second, but Please, can you please have a video out, please?

  17. JustSomeRandomlyGeneratedGuy says:

    Notice how some of the names on this page are in red? :O maybe a hint?

  18. Tired of the crap says:

    No more… please…

  19. Nacho says:

    Guys. Stop complaining about the lack of a movie. He’s making a DVD right now. http://www.filmcow.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=175973&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=105 If you want to complain, get an account in the forums and complain there!

  20. Mr. Fantastic says:

    Jason has a life too. Maybe he’s going to post a boatload of videos when all this is said and done, maybe he won’t. But at least he hasn’t forgotten us, his fans. The true fans will stick around to see what happens next.
    And honelstly, I have no idea what the heck is up with these blog posts, but I kinda enjoy them, for some odd reason. If he just ended right now I would be wholly disappointed. I wanna know what happens to kittyamy96 in the end.

  21. Freeziez says:

    JUST WAIT FOR THE MOVIE TO COME OUT. JESUS CHRIST YOU PEOPLE.

  22. Mathias says:

    Not as EMO and soulless as I’ve come to expect, I am disappoint. Trying to redeem yourself for being a pretentious EMO bitch? Or have you forced yourself to write this because someone fooled you into believing in something as retarded as christianity?

    Oh wait… You don’t exist..

  23. The Last Unicorn says:

    Come on, Jason! Fork it over! The update being ‘it’, of course. Why isn’t there an update yet? I want an update and I want it now! MOMMY, WHERE’S THE UPDATE? ALSO, COULD YOU OPEN MY MILK AND MY SUNNY D, MOMMY?! MOMMY!!!! Ahem. Again, I ask you, where is the update? This is getting ridiculous, Jason. The update has been late for weeks, even months, and you offer no explanation whatsoever as to why you’re not updating as often as you should be updating. By my estimates the site is 12-13 updates behind. That is ridiculous and you know it is! THE UPDATE SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED BY NOW!!!!

    In conclusion, you should really update the site really soon, or else I’ll…I’ll…well, I don’t know what I’ll do if you don’t update more. Uh, complain more? Yes! That’s the ticket. I’ll complain more and you won’t be able to stop me, unless you block me on AIM or something. I’ll constantly IM you, asking for the update. I’ll e-mail asking for the update. In the chat, I promise to make a lot of remarks about the update not being finished yet. HA HA! JUST UPDATE THE FUCKING SITE ALREADY YOU CRUMBUM!!!

    Just kidding. Jason, I understand you’re more devoted to your girlfriend then this site, and that’s perfectly understandable, as these videos are done for fun, and you have a personal life. But I predict after the DVD of your new film is out, you’ll continue this KittyAmy bullshit and Chaos Pony will be doomed to a 23-episode run while any new videos will become wishful thinking. Also, Spatula Madness will come out in December 2012, WHEN THE WORLD WILL ENDLOLLOLOL. Seriously, if you’re not going to do even five seconds of work on Spatula Madness (seeing as you haven’t for three years), just say “That was too ambitious an idea, and I’m canceling it.”

  24. Viveckiller says:

    This is going to get very very depressing when Christmas rolls around…

  25. Anonymous says:

    So I realized that these posts remind me a lot of catcher in the rye

  26. Carbonated Chocolate Cake says:

    Anyone want to talk?

  27. Stig says:

    FENTONNNNNNNNN! Oh, Jesus Christ!

  28. Mingo says:

    This is to you Kitty;

    …………………./´¯/) 
    ………………..,/¯../ 
    ………………./…./ 
    …………./´¯/’…’/´¯¯`·¸ 
    ………./’/…/…./……./¨¯\ 
    ……..(‘(…´…´…. ¯~/’…’) 
    ………\……………..’…../ 
    ……….”…\………. _.·´ 
    …………\…………..( 
    …………..\………….\…
    (and you to if this is you Jason)

  29. Mingo says:

    I’m leaving to Rooster Teeth!
    See ya!
    …………………./´¯/) 
    ………………..,/¯../ 
    ………………./…./ 
    …………./´¯/’…’/´¯¯`·¸ 
    ………./’/…/…./……./¨¯\ 
    ……..(‘(…´…´…. ¯~/’…’) 
    ………\……………..’…../ 
    ……….”…\………. _.·´ 
    …………\…………..( 
    …………..\………….\…

  30. Tyler says:

    This sucks! Now every time I go on this site I get depressed, at least until I leave the “Blog” section…

  31. me says:

    hey kittyamy what’s your favorite filmcow movie? do you even watch them?

  32. Kiersten says:

    The fact that a teenage girl is sitting here venting over her first world problems pisses me off. You lost so many fans Jason. Wasn’t worth it huh?

  33. THE Keebler Elf says:

    Oh KittyAmy, I’m sorry to hear that you are sick. If I knew where you lived I’d send you some of my famous chicken noodle chip cookies, best thing for colds.

    As for disliking people, remember the old saying: people who lack kindness are like cookies that lack sugar. Happy holidays, may your cookie jar overflow with presents and good cheer.

  34. Redlark says:

    I’m not buying your shirts and crap again as Birthday and Christmas presents. But you don’t care–you’re like Mark Zuckerberg now… it’s sad…

    Jason’s become Carrot Top, or the Legend of Zelda equivalence of Tingle. He’s beating a dead horse with a stick. Jason’s not Conan O’Brien. He, as far as I can tell–lacks the comedic ability to do a lame joke, beat it to the ground, make pathetic comments, beat the joke some more, beat it MORE–to the point where it come back full circle to funny, thus becoming hilarious. Why was one of my comments shunned by the mods? I wasn’t saying anything racist, inappropriate–and I wasn’t even spamming with links to other sites… non-sequitor, yes. Random and off topic–perhaps… In the spirit of Film Cow Cartoons? Yes. The Mods on this site are Communists.

    But I think Jason’s lost his buzz… So unless he makes a toon or something soon, he’s just lost a fan of Film Cow since 2004.

    He’s yo-yo’d in the past, and I’m just tired of it… Goodnight world… film cow is dead to me.

  35. Banana says:

    I’m still a banana…

  36. Biligum says:

    I really can’t wait to see where Jason’s going with this. A part of me suspects that he has something brilliant planned, and yet I can’t help but think that he might just revert to regular updates and never speak of this again… that’d give people a turn.

  37. ... says:

    i’m sorry, but all you people who are getting angry or upset because Jason doesn’t update are Ridiculous. I mean you have a life to live…. GO LIVE IT

  38. D.J. says:

    Becky, why are you on the internet?

  39. someone who actually cares says:

    Amy your posts really get me, and i think if we met in person there would be no conversation whatsoever…because I 2 have nothing to say most of the time. just wanted to let you know that your not alone. even if it seems that way.